This is the story of how this blog, which was supposed to be about my ADHD diagnosis and treatment, turned into a blog about having breast cancer in the middle of a wordwide pandemic.

It never rains but it pours, right?

I got diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma in my right breast on March 23, after a couple of mammograms and a biopsy. I am SO irritated that this diagnosis means I have to say the word BREAST all the time.

I turned 50 last fall, and my HMO kept pestering me to get a mammogram. Fall was really busy and hectic for some reason. Maybe because at the time I had untreated ADHD and had trouble getting even the basics done, and something like a routine screening seemed less important than just running as fast as I could to stay in the same place. I also had that knee injury which was messing with my exercise, which of course didn’t help my self-management. And it was winter, which makes everything more sucky. I did manage to send off a colon stool screening sample, which fortunately came back negative.

I called to schedule the mammogram in January and got it set on February 24. I was a little apprehensive about it – I’ve always heard stories about it being super squishy and super uncomfortable, but it wasn’t bad at all. The tech told me that if the mammogram came back clear I would just get a letter in the mail in about 10 days, but if they found anything or wanted a second look I would get a call within 2 days. She also told me that it is not unusual for first-time mammograms to get called back for a second look, especially for someone with “dense breast tissue” like I have, so I shouldn’t worry if I get a call instead of a letter.

I did get a call and I think it was the very next day. They told me to come back in for a second mammogram and an ultrasound on the right breast only. I told myself it was no big deal, because of what the tech said, and also that there is no BC in my mom’s family and only one case in my dad’s. But I also thought that it seemed weird that they only wanted a second look on the right side. If it was just dense breast tissue and first-time mammogram, wouldn’t they want to look at both?

Here’s a thing I do to cope when I’m waiting for what might be good or bad news: I tell myself to assume that it’s going to be the good-news outcome, because even if it turns out to be the bad news, then I would at least have had a week (or however long it was) without that worry.

I wasn’t able to find a time that worked for my work schedule AND the breast imaging center until March 19, so I made that appointment. Part of the reason that followup took so long was because the Capitol Hill breast imaging center was having new equipment installed so it would be closed for a while, and I had to go to Bellevue.

At this point it’s the last week in February and we haven’t realized how bad COVID-19 was going to get. We still only had one confirmed case in Washington and that guy was getting better. The news about the Kirkland nursing facility would hit the next weekend.

I had planned to take the 19th off for our first-time-ever cleaning service, along with a follow-up appointment with the psychologist who diagnosed me with ADHD to talk about the autism spectrum. The cleaners and the psych appointment were in the morning. The mammogram and ultrasound were scheduled for 2:45 in the afternoon.

It was a weird day. By that time The Mighty Sam and i were both mostly working from home, though I was still going in a couple times per week. So we were home when the cleaners were here. My psych appointment went pretty well though no conclusions were reached, and because of COVID-19 I decided I would follow up with it after it was over. It was super uncomfortable to be in the house with the cleaners, especially because we only have one bathroom and one of them was in it for quite a while, although they did do a fantastic job, and I’m so glad that we at least had ONE cleaning service before the stay-at-home orders became too stringent.

I went to the Bellevue clinic. That was the first time I got stopped at the entrance by screeners who asked if I had a temperature or coughing or other COVID-19 symptoms. I didn’t. I’ve been taking my temperature every day since the beginning of March.

The mammogram was pretty much the same as before, except just on the right side. The ultrasound took a very long time. They looked at both the breast and the lymph nodes on that side.

At the end I got dressed and met with the radiologist. She told me that there were two very small masses, plus a slightly swollen lymph node. She said she wanted biopsies of all three and I would be able to schedule it there, ASAP. She said she was not worried about the lymph node but was concerned about the two masses.

Now I think that they probably knew the two tiny masses were cancer already, based on the shape. I kind of wish they had told me that then, but maybe they aren’t supposed to unduly worry patients before they know for sure. After talking with the radiologist, I met with a case manager person named Amy who talked to me about what the biopsy would entail and also scheduled the appointment. I got a little brochure: “Your Guide to Ultrasound-Guided Core Needle Biopsy.” It didn’t sound too bad, certainly no worse than a nasty dental procedure.

The 19th was a Thursday. My appointment was the following Monday, the 23rd. I physically went in to work on the 20th and I think that is the last day I worked at work instead of at home.