hero

when we were driving to the full day o’ doctors appointment, we were listening to KEXP. Suddenly the DJ started reading an email request from listener Sam. It was MY Sam. He had requested that they play “Hero” by Foo Fighters in honor of me, since I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and we were on the way to my medical appointments.

The Mighty Sam said that I was his hero. That was amazingly sweet. I cried.

The DJ followed that up with “Heroes” by David Bowie.

One thing that I forgot to mention from the general surgeon appointment: I had to stop taking my whore pills. I have been taking progesterone-only pills since 2014, because I was having too much uterine bleeding due to a couple of fibroids. But since my cancer has positive progesterone and estrogen receptors, more hormones will make it worse. My last whore pill was on April 1.

I was concerned I would immediately start up the bleeding again but so far it hasn’t happened. I set up a phone appointment with my regular doctor (she had called and left me a message when she saw my diagnosis in my file), and we talked about it. She said that it was possible that since I’m older the issue may have resolved itself. Then there is also the way hormone therapy would induce menopause and that would also work the issue out. It’s been a little over 2 weeks and no bleeding so far. We’ll see if I start having real periods again.

The MRI was definitely weird. I took off all my rings (they said to remove all jewelry) and wore comfortable clothes. Once there, I was instructed to fill out a consent form and then remove all my clothes except underpants and socks. I dressed in hospital pants and gown and little socks with traction strips on the bottoms.

I then walked down the hall to get IV’ed up. I had never had an IV before. The IV needle hurts going in, but then they take the needle out and just leave the little tube, and then it stops hurting. (I had been worried it would be like the time I gave blood and it hurt like hell the whole time, which is why I have never given blood since.) Then they tape it up so it doesn’t move around.

There were two guys – the MRI tech and the IV guy. The IV guy did the IV, then the MRI guy told me how to get into the MRI machine. They gave me ear plugs to put in my ears first. Since it was a breast MRI they had me lay face down. There’s a little open area where your boobs hang down, and they have to position these side plates just right on either side. I stretched my arms straight up and there was a bar for me to put my hands on.

In hindsight, I would have tried to be a little more careful about relaxing my arms when I first got positioned. Because I was kind of gripping the bar and after they got started and it was going for a while, I couldn’t relax them without moving. And in an MRI you are supposed to stay very, very still.

Once I was positioned they put a set of headphones over my ears. I could hear the MRI guy talking through them, so I would still be able to get instructions and info once inside. They also gave me a little button on a wire to hold, which they said I should press if I was in distress or needed help. Then I got put into the machine.

Since I was facing down and my eyes were closed, I couldn’t see anything anyway, so there was no need to feel claustrophobic. I’m really not claustrophobic anyway so I don’t think it would have mattered either way.

It was very loud, so the ear plugs and head phones were good. About halfway through the MRI they started the IV contrast. Now, the sensation of that coming in through the IV was WEIRD – a cold, dripping sensation. After that started the MRI tech said it would be another 10 minutes.

So of course, for my ADHD self it is really hard to gauge time passing. I kept trying to think of things to entertain myself with but I kept getting distracted by how tense my arms were. I tried to do focused relaxation of all my muscles and that helped some.

Then it was done and they took me out, removed the IV, bandaged me up, and I could go get dressed. I was a little concerned about the potential side effects of the contrast thing they use but I ended up not noticing anything at all.

As annoying as it is to have breast cancer, and having to deal with all that entails, it has definitely been interesting experiencing these different medical procedures.