I don’t really want to write about the COVID-19 pandemic. I started this blog to reflect about my ADHD diagnosis and treatment. I find it extremely irritating that now, just as I’m starting to understand my whole entire life, and that I have the opportunity to get better, the world is now in the midst of the worst pandemic since the 1918 flu. REALLY? Is this how it’s going to be?

I’m worried about the impact on ordinary people. I’m worried that people I love might get sick and die. I’m worried that I might get sick and die. Or get sick, and recover, but then have severe lung damage.

I am angry at the Trump administration and everyone who voted for Trump. I’m pissed off about that lame speech he gave the other day – travel bans from Europe (really? when the disease is already here???), loans from the Small Business Administration (LOANS? NO. they need to be GRANTS), and payroll tax relief (which does nothing to address lack of sick leave, understaffing, and people in the gig economy). I’m pissed off about the dismantling of the pandemic response team. I’m pissed off about cuts to the CDC. I’m pissed off about the lack of testing. I’m pissed off about the fact that I’m not hearing anything about epidemiologists on the ground figuring out who has it and who doesn’t.

WE MUST FIND OUT WHO HAS IT.

I bought myself a bicycle on Thursday. The weather has thanked me by being cold and rainy and windy. This is also pissing me off.

In better news, my right knee seems to be responding to physical therapy. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to jog again the way I used to, but now that I have a bike I am willing to work on switching to that. If I can start commuting by bike, that will also have the benefit of combining my commute time with my exercise time. It will also be nice to have the mental health benefits of regular cardio exercise again. I haven’t been able to exercise regularly since like October.

We got a new battery for our digital thermometer. I’ve been taking my temperature often and so far I have been normal. Of the two of us, I’m definitely much more at risk since I work downtown and have been commuting by bus. I have been really careful about not touching things and washing my hands, and keeping my distance from people since the first of March, which is when the Kirkland nursing home news broke. The only time that I’ve been in close proximity to other people for an extended period of time has been on buses. And even my regular bus has really thinned out with regard to riders.

Ever since Trump got elected in 2016, I’ve been suffering from an additional level of political anxiety on top of my regular anxiety. That if something really bad happens this administration is not going to be able to handle it. And sure enough, that shit has become real with COVID-19. This so so bad, and so stupid.